a letter to someone special

i found a little something in the junk drawer of my laptop documents. i wrote it in vienna last summer and don't remember doing it at all.

dear husband-to-be.

this is my first letter to you, although i have gone through draft after draft because i want it to be perfect. honest, but perfect.

who are you? do you know who you are? i came to vienna this summer to find myself. i came to figure out who i am and what i want. sometimes i feel like i’m alone in a fog of my thoughts without a map or a road to guide the way. sometimes i feel lost and confused, but i don’t give up pushing through the mist; i continue moving forward and put one foot in front of the other. i came here to see if i could be someone different, to see if there was someone else underneath all the layers i’ve built around me.

i found that i am the girl i am, and that changing place doesn’t change who i am. my foggy path hasn’t really gotten any clearer, but i found motivation to be happy and positive, even in the confusion. i found that loving myself is the most important thing i can do right now at this point in my life.

i’ve been thinking about you. you’re always in the back of my mind, a quiet whisper that i hear sometimes over the busy life of the city and my constant day. i wonder about where life has taken you so far and how you spend your time. i wonder what face i should put on the man in my thoughts.

love always,
me.