I have a really hard time with social media and I am just going to be really super honest about it. And it is probably going to make me sound like an idiot. Lets just go with it.
I don't know about you guys but numbers have always mattered to me. I pretend that they don't, but they do. Followers, likes, comments, stats, ad buys, etc. etc. etc. it all matters and I can tell you every single one of those numbers because I check them ALL. THE. TIME. Which kind of depresses me, but also I am not sure how to fix it without getting off of all social media all together. I find myself becoming an all or nothing kind of gal. I either have no cookies or 10. Catch my drift? I delete facebook and re-download it on a regular basis. I'm bi-polar. I hope that's not offensive.
Keeping a constant tab on my social currency is exhausting. First thing I do when I get up, last thing I do at night until my husband finally says, "Will you please get off your phone?" The ironic thing is (I'm not entirely sure I am using the word ironic correctly) is that I really don't have enough of a "following" to warrant the amount of time I spend thinking about it! Perhaps this comes from a place where I wish I was further along that I am. That I could make money off my blog enough to subsidize my work income. That I had more influence. That people thought I took cool pictures. That I could actually take cool pictures. That I knew what I really wanted out of this corner of the internet. Or that i really knew what I wanted from social media just in general.
Because if you have a blog, is there anyone that just does it because its fun? Isn't there always some kind of pay off? Is it possible in social media to do something just for yourself?
Pause. Can I just say that I am SO glad social media wasn't really a super HUGE thing in high school. So grateful.
Have you heard of http://iconosquare.com/? It's a website that tracks instagram for you, updates you about followers (and un-followers) and the like. I had it for about a week and I became pretty obsessed. It would depress me! To see the people who unfollowed me to the point where it was impacting my day to day life. I had to delete my account. DELETE IT! As I type this it just seems so very absurd that this is something that is taking up brain capacity and space.
I'm struggling my dear blog friends. Can you offer advice? Have any of you grappled with the same issue? I found a great article (here) about it last week but it didn't really hit on the whole how to make it all not matter so much, and that is what I struggle with. So… help. Please?
I might delete this post later.