Words of Wisdom

Oh boy do I have a funny professor. Here are my favorite things he said last week.

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Back then I think we had six kids, and they were like 5 and under.

There is a Dwight on every team.

The fatter you are and the balder you get, the more sexy you are. Guys, when you're 50, you'll be romance machines.

My parents threatened to get divorced all the time. It just became a joke.

You want the kids to be singing "When Daddy Comes Home," and they're lined up chronologically, and they're bringing you steak.

You know how you throw a baby up like a couple feet? Well my son throws their baby up like...9 yards. Yesterday he was waving his crutches tip in the baby's face to see if he'd nibble on it.

I want to go to bed at 9 after a nice little cup of pudding.

You only see other couples happy. Writing poetry to each other on the backs of sacrament programs.

Remember how your mom would be chasing you around with a butcher knife, then the phone rang and she would talk like an angel to the Relief Society president, and then she hung up and went back to Darth Vader mode?