girls' weekend adventures

Megan, me, Liz, Emily, Britney, Tammy.

This weekend I spent with my new in-laws--Jess's mom, three sisters, and his brother's wife. It was a girls' weekend, vacation in every sense of the word, so we ate out A LOT. We hit Red Lobster, the Lion House at Temple Square, IKEA, and Zupas (twice).

On our last night together we decided to  scout out an authentic Mexican restaurant; the winner, The Red Iguana, was actually featured on the Food Network's "Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives." The wait was at least 45 minutes out in the cold, but they had a big jug of hot apple cider to keep our hands warm and our impatience at bay. The place was packed (not sure what the fire marshal would think), but they kept the lines moving and we eventually were seated. Our server, a small and energetic 40-something Mexican man, gave us his recommendations, brought out plates of spicy sauces (everything from pumpkin to pistachio mole) for us to taste-test before ordering, and promised he wouldn't hand us over to Taco Time down the street if anyone settled on a chimichanga. 

We ended up with an array of enchiladas, burritos and, of course, chimichangas, and we loved it all. A two-man mariachi band even serenaded us with a slow, but quite loud, song while we ate, smiling the whole time. We couldn't help but grin back.

Mr. Waiter kept our glasses full, made sure we each enjoyed our food, and then brought us a Thanksgiving-sized platter of cinnamon sugar scones with chocolate and cream to dip  and told us it was on the house because he liked us (we tipped him well).

I'm not usually the adventurous type to suggest an unfamiliar, hole-in-the-wall restaurant, but perhaps I'll be a bit braver after the unforgettable evening we spent in the packed, noisy Red Iguana.

my brother is coming home

a day at the park. it sure looks magical.

top photo: kendall is on the far left, i am next to him, then my brother cameron and my mom. 

bottom photo: my mom and kendall are in the back row, cameron and i are in the front

its 2:18am and my alarm is set for 5:50am so that michael and i can call as cab to take us to the airport. in four short hours we are flying to portland to see my family. my mom, my dad, my sisters, and my brother. 

1, 2, 3, 4, 5 of them. that is how it has been for the last two years, but something pretty exciting is happening on friday. the 6th member of the family (7 + 8 including michael and i) is coming home. my brother has been on a mission in brazil for TWO YEARS and he is finally coming home. 

i am getting a little emotional over here as i type this. 

i can't believe that it has been two years already. so many things have happened! so many things have changed! in the time he has been gone i have graduated from college, got married, moved to chicago, learned a new language (so has he), traveled, and got a real person job. whoa. 

i am so proud of him. 

he and i are only two years apart and we don't look anything alike. he is tall. i am not. he is skinny. i am less skinny. his nose is big. mine is flat. but our hair is the same color.   

i have all these amazing memories of us running around like kids. 

my favorite is from when i was about 6 and he was 4. we lived in washington and it rained constantly. as little kids you get bored all coped up inside-- so what we would do is build little rain forts on the driveway. we put on our parents big puffy jackets, one on top and one on our legs, took all the umbrella from the house and set up camp. the driveway was really steep so an umbrella on its side made for some pretty good coverage. then we would just lay under the umbrellas and listen to the rain. sometimes we would even sneak snacks. and there we would lay until we got soaked and went back inside.

another gem is when our mom would make cookies. 

dear little brother kendall would always ask for two so that he could bring me one first. 

the tears are flowing now you guys.

growing up we always talked about how we were going to stay friends. talked about how we were going to buy a house in arizona and fly there every winter to get away from the cold. i sure hope that happens. maybe it doesn't have to be arizona, but isn't that a nice idea?

i sure think so. 

t-minus 32 hours. 

xoxo

harley. 

sometimes you just can't do it all

i tell myself pretty consistently that i need to be better. a better worker. a better blogger. a better guitar player. a better wife. a better relief society president. a better team member. a better friend. a better member of the church. a better listener. a better exerciser. 

i think about what it would take to get my waking hours to 100% productivity-- how i could possibly squeeze and push myself to be better. in theory it is an intriguing thought, but in reality it is almost impossible. 

i feel guilty when i sit down to watch a favorite tv show. i feel guilty when i take time for myself to read a book. i feel guilty when i take time to create pages in my art journal. the feelings of inadequacy creep into hobbies and pleasures that i used to enjoy. my internal dialoge goes something like this, "if you would have spent those 25 minutes playing your guitar instead of watching park & rec you would be so much better by now." or it can also go like this, "stop working on this dumb project of yours and spend time checking things off of your REAL list. people are depending on you"

there are so many things happening and i feel like i am failing at every single one. my apartment is a mess. my planner is a mess. my bank account is a mess. i'm a mess. 

so i guess now comes the part where i figure out how i am going to fix it. something needs to go, but what? 

i remember naively thinking that when college was over i could finally relax. get a real world job, work 9-5 and then spend the evenings pursuing my passions. 

wrong.

i guess i am just feeling overwhelmed by life and that's ok. we are here to learn and grow and purse ourselves. it isn't stretching unless it uncomfortable. so today i am going to find solace in the fact that it is sunny, i get to go to the temple later with my husband, and this quote: 

"we must be our own before we can be another's." 

-ralph waldo emerson

-harley.

italy

three summers ago i went backpacking through italy (with jane). we hopped from rome, to florence, to pizza, to vernazza, to venice. this week i pulled out all of my pictures with the intention of scrapbooking them. while that has not happened i have loved getting lost in the images.

i remember standing on the beach in vernazza recognizing what happiness really was. we had no cell phones, no facebook, no internet. just italy and each other. and some hunky italian men. 

it was a truly magnificent and magical time. if i could give any advice to anyone, it would be to travel. go with your friends. take out a loan if you have to! that is what i did and i have never regretted it. not for one second. 

xoxo.

har

*group shot photo cred goes to jenny pate.

when your day sucks

having a real job is more challenging than i ever thought it would be. this lovely shiny career that i have chosen, while completely enthralling, is exhausting. 
sometimes exhausting in an i learned and accomplished so much today and my job is awesome way.  and sometimes exhausting in an all i want to do is watch project runway in my pajamas way.
there are moments when the fact that i am straight out of college just slap me right across the face. i have to face the fact that i literally have no idea what i am doing and scramble to pick up the pieces as fast as possible. 
today was one of those days.  and i broke down.  TEARS IN THE WORK PLACE. 
i literally tweeted, "cried at work today. i'm such a stereotype."
one of my co-workers saw me and asked what was wrong and it just made things worse. i said, "i'll be right back," squeezed my chin tight against my chest and speed walked all the way to the bathroom.  locked in a stall i took a million deep breaths and cried. ugly cried as quietly as i could. i offered a prayer and just said, "please help me get it together." i regained composure and dried my eyes. they were a little red, but no one else noticed.   i went back to my desk grabbed my wallet and left the building. i ordered a grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup at jason's deli, called my husband, and people watched. i also wrote myself a list of what to do when your day sucks. 
today was hard, but tomorrow is going to be better. and no one better yell at me. 
xoxo- harley

crochet away i say

While up in Idaho over labor day my dear Grandma Irene taught me the basics of crocheting. She also bestowed upon me my great grandmothers crocheting needles. Since then I have been watching the vampires diaries and making more scarves than I know what to do with. It'll help keep out that cold Chicago winter. Anyone have any great free patterns? I think I am going to make a moose next. 

Insta Wrap

1. Church

2. Ironic

3. Possible new glasses

4. Water Taxi to work  

5. Mr. Potato Head Leo Burnett

6. Late outfit for the 4th of July

7. Intern Shirt

8. Solo Sushi date 

9. Pattern

10. What I did instead of Relief Society

Bird Feeder

The house I am living at has a million bird feeders.
By million I mean five. 1 Green. 2 Red.  A yellow and  brown.
Every morning the birds are out in full force making a gigantic mess.
The squirrels and chipmunks hover underneath them waiting for the scattered seeds.
I often think about what would happen if the bird feeders were gone.

That Time I Saw James Vincent Mcmorrow

Press play on this song and then scroll through the pictures.
I don't quite think the youtube version does him any justice.
He is just so good live.
I saw him at the Chicago concert series at Millenium park.
The concert was free. I have no idea why it wasn't packed.
I really respect a man that kills it when all he has is his voice and guitar.
Oh and I did I mention that he is Irish?
At one point he went off on a tangent talking about how he had seen Seal perform earlier that week.
He said it was like a concert straight from 1995. 
"If Seal would have played Ordinary Brother over and over again it would have been the best show ever. But he didn't so it wasn't."
After the concert I stood in line with a bunch of teenage girls to buy his cd.
You should too. It's on iTunes. If you regret purchasing the CD feel free to email me your complaints. I will then route them to the Easter bunny because IT IS NOT POSSIBLE NOT TO LIKE IT.

This is the famous Chicago bean. 

It doesn't look this clean in real life. 

But it charming all the same. 

Where I Live and What I want

Mid-west suburb living is Relaxing. Green. Country. Lush.

Mid-west city living is Humid. Gray. Pavement. Water. Taxi. People.

Mid-west living in general is pretty great. I love the feel of Chicago. Everyone keeps telling me that I need to survive through a winter before any decisions are made, but I think I like it.
Actually, I'm sure.
Does the weather really change the entire vibe of the city?
I don't think so.

I knew I would be a city girl.
Not your normal Mormon girls dream.
No kids. No husband. Just a loft in a high rise with a short walk to work.

Obviously I have a husband I am considering that a serious bonus.
My 13 year-old self couldn't foresee how great that would be.
City girl. City girl. City girl.

Dream. Set. Match.
Now what is next?

I keep trying to convince my husband that we should pick up and move to Europe.
I want to be reckless.
I want to adventure.
I don't want to plan for our future.
I want to live.
I want to get up in the morning and feel alive.
I want to feel infused with energy.

That settles it.
I am going on a walk.

Life in Chicago: That time when I made some friends

 1. Cute cards. I could buy all the cards traget carries. 

2. This necklace is a staple. 

3. Crooked Chicago Skyline

 4. The invincible manicure.

5. First Chicago dog! Boy was it messy. 

 6. Yummy breakfast.

7. Walking through Lincoln park. I could live there. 

 8. Seeing Brave by myself. I love the short at the beginning. Almost more than the movie.

9. New mural in my office. 

 10. Giant taco salad from Ronny's Ribs. 

11. Cubs game with the other interns. I made some friends. 

12. Necklace for days. 

I don't actually take out my real camera. Instagram it is. 

This week was a little bit traumatic. These are not details I was floating around the internet, but if you are really curious I will gladly let you know via email. 

On the up swing... I MADE SOME FRIENDS. I was at the cubs game on Monday with all the other interns sitting by myself. Lame. So after I finished gorging myself on the free food I was about ready to high tail it out of there. Then this kid came up to me and starting chatting. Then another. By the time our conversation finished I was feeling a little bit better about my life. I turned a corner to take one last look at the baseball field when I ran into two other girl interns. This is how the conversation went. Yes it was as awkward as it sounds. 

Me: "Hey guys... I don't have any friends. Can I talk to you?"

Girl: "Sure we don't have any friends either."

Me: "Great! Lets be friend then. We can eat lunch together and stuff."

Other girl: "Sounds great."

Insert awkward chuckle.

Me: "K guys give me you numbers and we can plan something."

Girl: "K cool."

And then we exchanged numbers. And ate lunch on Tuesday. And on Friday. And then went out for Pizza and a walk on Friday night. It is like we are courting or something. I will readily take your applause now. 

3 weeks down. 7 weeks to go. 10 days until I see Michael.
Part one can be found here.